Royle Family Quotes

Nana - "I wanted to do one of those Friends and Family but I couldn't make up the numbers. Most of 'em were dead."

Denise (on Jim's birthday cake) - "Come on Dad! Blow it out!"

Jim - "I will buggery! There's five minutes left in that - save on the lecky."

Barbara -"It's unlucky to see the Bride on the morning of the wedding."

Jim -"I don't remember seeing you that morning."

Norma -"Is this hat too far forward?"

Jim -"No, we can still see you face."

Dave -"I love red sauce, me."

Denise -"I don't like it."

Barb - "Ooh, it's funny that, isn't it? Him liking red sauce and you not liking red sauce, and yet you get on so well."

Denise -"Yeah."

Barb -"I wonder what sauce Baby David'll like."

Nana -“It’s not worth doing a chicken just for one; it’s too much for one meal. You see, you can get four or five meals out of a chicken; you’re sick of it by Thursday.”

Jim -“Yeah, but you can just get a chicken breast, can’t you?”

Nana -“Well…I’m not that keen on chicken.”

Barbara Royle: How's your diet going, Cheryl?

Cheryl Carroll: Oh, all right thanks, yeah, Barbara, I lost 4 pounds... and then I put 2 back on and then another 2. But I've not gained any.

Barbara Royle: Oh, well I think you're doing ever so well to stick to it, love.

Barbara Royle: [about her mother on the phone] It's shocking, really, you know - she's 82.

Jim Royle: Why what's happened?

Barbara Royle: Well, she went down the precinct and she had this voucher - and it was one day out of date and the miserable sod of a manager wouldn't let her have the money off!

Jim Royle: How much was it worth?

Barbara Royle: 20p.

Jim Royle: 20p? It'll cost her more than that to ring every bugger she knows to tell!

Barb (on Anthony) -"Ooh! Do you know who he reminds me of? Him! What's his name? ... Dick Whittington!"

Jim -"Oh aye. He's like Dick Whittington but without the bloody Whittington."

Denise -"So I'm at it 'Daddy, Daddy, guess what?' didn't I Dave?

Barb -"And did he know what you meant?

Dave and Denise -"No"

Denise -"And then I said, you know, 'I'm pregnant,' like that and the penny dropped didn't it Dave?

Dave -"Yeah. Straight away. Yeah."

Denise -"We had to talk a bit about our partners and our partners had to talk a bit about us"

Barb -"And what did Dave say about you?"

Denise -"Well, he just said that I was pregnant."

Jim -"Bloody hell! That must have been a shock for the rest of the antenatal class!"