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Cute Funny Quotes

selection of cute funny quotes and sayings

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius
Oscar Wilde

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.'
Joe Namath

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.
Jim Loy

I wasn't really naked. I simply didn't have any clothes on.
Josephine Baker

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke -- and that the joke is oneself.


More Cute Funny Quotes

  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  • Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
  • When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
  • Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  • You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
  • Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  • Death is hereditary.
  • There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
  • Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
  • They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won't expect it back.
  • I like work.  It fascinates me.  I  sit and look at it for hours.
  • Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


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