Blackadder IV Quotes

Blackadder the Forth is one of my favourite comedy series. It is a very good combination of actors and good script writing. Rowan Atkinson is in imperious form as the sarcastic and pessimistic British officer desperate to escape the war. He is surrounded by a seemingly endless supply of idiots. George played by High Laurie is the classic Upper class twit. Stephen Fry plays the pompous and insane British officer.

{[Darling expressing his concer about Blackadder's copetence]
Darling: I think I should go and keep an eye on Captain Blackadder
Melchett: You'll need a convincing wound.
{Melchett shoots Darling's foot}
Melchett: Yes. A convincing wound...

[Blackadder is interrogating Darling - on Darling's first night in the hospital]
Darling: This is ridiculous, Blackadder! You can't suspect me - I've only just arrived.
Blackadder: The first rule of counter-espionage is to suspect everyone, Darling. Believe me, I shall be asking myself some pretty searching questions later on. Now, what is the colour of the Queen of England's favourite hat?
Darling: How the hell should I know?!
Blackadder: [Sinister] I see. What is the name of the German leader?
Darling: Well, Kaiser Wilhelm, obviously.
Blackadder: So, you're on first name terms with the Kaiser, are you?!

[Blackadder has tied up Captain Darling and is grilling him as if he were a German spy.]
Darling: Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria!
Blackadder: So, your father's German, you're half-German, and you married a German?
. . .

[Blackadder tells how he determined that Nurse Fletcher-Brown is the German spy.]
Blackadder: I then leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked if he'd been to one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull.
Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well?
Blackadder: You failed to spot that only two of those are great universities!
Nurse Fletcher-Brown: You swine!
Melchett: That's right! Oxford's a complete dump!

Blackadder: Hello the Somme public baths. No running, shouting or piddling in the shallow end.

[Blackadder is bewildered by George's enthusiasm for going 'over the top'.]

Blackadder: Well, for God's sake, George, how long have you been in the army?
George: Oh, me? Oh, I joined up straight away, sir! August the 4th, 1914. God, what a day that was! Myself and the rest of the fellows, leapfrogging down to the Cambridge recruiting office and then, playing tiddlywinks in the queue. We'd hammered Oxford's tiddlywinkers only the week before and there we were, off to hammer the Boche! Crushingly superb bunch of blokes. Fine, clean-limbed… even their acne had a strange nobility about it.
Blackadder: Yes, and how are all the boys now?
George: Oh, uh, well… Jacko and the Badger bought it at the first Ypres, unfortunately. What a shock, there. I remember Bumfluff's house-master wrote and told me that Sticky'd been out for a duck, and the Gubber had snitched a parcel sausage-end and gone goose-over-stump frogside.
Blackadder: Meaning?
George: I don't know, sir, but I read in the Times that they'd both been killed.

Blackadder: We've been sitting her since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've moved no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.

Blackadder: [to Baldrick] This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof, saying 'This Is a Large Crisis'. A large crisis requires a large plan. Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants!

Blackadder: 'Til then, we've got bugger-all to do, except sit and wait.
George: Oh, I don't know, sir! We could, uh… we could have a jolly game of charades!
Baldrick: Oh, yes!
George: And, uh… sing-along with musical hits, like 'Birmingham Bertie' and, ah, 'Whoops, Mrs Miggins, You're Sitting on My Artichokes'.
Blackadder: Yes, I think 'bugger-all' might be rather more fun.

Blackadder: Now Baldrick, fix me some coffee, and make it taste slightly less like mud this time.
Baldrick: Not easy I'm afraid, Sir
Blackadder: And why is this?
Baldrick: 'cause it is mud. We ran out of coffee 13 months ago
Blackadder: Brilliant. So every time I've drunk your coffee for the past 13 months, I have in fact, been drinking, hot mud.
Baldrick: With sugar...
Blackadder: ...which makes all the difference
Baldrick: Well, it would if we had any sugar, but we ran out New Years Eve 1915. Since when, I've been using sugar substitute...
Blackadder: ...Which is?
Baldrick: Dandruff. But I could add some milk this time, or, Saliva
Blackadder: No thank you Baldrick. Call me Mr. Picky, but I think I'll pass.
Baldrick: That's probably because you're mad, sir!
Blackadder: Well, quite!

Blackadder Opening Video

Quotes From: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Blackadder
More quotes at `BBC `__