Favourite Fawlty Towers Quotes

• Mrs. Richards: I've booked a room with a bath and a sea view for three nights. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.
• Manuel: Qué?
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Manuel: Qué?
• Mrs. Richards: K?
• Manuel: Sí.
• Mrs. Richards: KC? KC? What are you trying to say?
• Manuel: No, no no no. Qué, "what."
• Mrs. Richards: K. Watt?
• Manuel: Sí: qué, "what."
• Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?
• Manuel: Yes.
• Mrs. Richards: Who is this C.K. Watt?
• Manuel: Qué?
• Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager?
• Manuel: Oh, Manager.
• Mrs. Richards: He is.
• Manuel: Ah, Mr. Fawlty.
• Mrs. Richards: Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?
  [to Polly]
• Mrs. Richards: Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.
• Manuel: No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."
• Mrs. Richards: Faulty? What's wrong with him?

• Basil Fawlty: May I help you, madam?
• Mrs. Richards: Are you the manager?
• Basil Fawlty: I am the *owner*.
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Basil Fawlty: I am the owner.
• Mrs. Richards: I want to speak to the manager.
• Basil Fawlty: [impatiently] I am the manager, too.
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Basil Fawlty: I am the manager *as well*.
• Manuel: [confirming Basil's identity] Manager, him manager.
• Mrs. Richards: Oh. You're Watt.
• Basil Fawlty: [confused] I'm the manager.
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Basil Fawlty: I'm the manager.
• Mrs. Richards: Yes, I know, you've just told me; what's the matter with you? Now listen to me. I specifically requested a bath for my room. When I pay for a bath, I expect to get a bath.
• Basil Fawlty: You've *got* a bath.
• Mrs. Richards: I'm not paying seventeen-pounds-fifty per night plus VAT for a room without a bath.
• Basil Fawlty: [indicating private bath in adjoining room] There is your bath.
• Mrs. Richards: You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful.
• Basil Fawlty: [sotto voice] I wish you were a mouse; I'd show you.
• Mrs. Richards: [standing next to the window] And another thing: I asked for aroom with a view.
• Basil Fawlty: [aside to Manuel] Deaf, mad, *and* blind.
  [to Mrs. Richards as he makes a show of inspecting the view]
• Basil Fawlty: This is the view as far as I can remember... Yes... Yes, this is it.
• Mrs. Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect to see something more interesting than that.
• Basil Fawlty: That is Torquay, madam.
• Mrs. Richards: Well, that's not good enough.
• Basil Fawlty: Well, might I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...
• Mrs. Richards: Don't be ridiculous. I expect to be able to see the sea.
• Basil Fawlty: You *can* see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
• Mrs. Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
• Basil Fawlty: Well, might I suggest you move to a hotel closer to the sea.
  [sotto voice]
• Basil Fawlty: Or preferably in it.
• Mrs. Richards: Now listen to me. I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction.
• Basil Fawlty: Why? Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment, or...
• Mrs. Richards: No. Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn't work.
• Basil Fawlty: No, the radio works.
  [sotto voice]
• Basil Fawlty: You don't.
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Basil Fawlty: But I can fix it, you see.
  [sotto voice]
• Basil Fawlty: You scabby old bat.
• [Turns up the in-wall radio full blast to prove it works. Manuel jams his hands over his ears]
• Basil Fawlty: [shutting it off] I think we got something then.
• Mrs. Richards: What?
• Basil Fawlty: [louder] I think we got something then.
• Mrs. Richards: What are you doing?
• Manuel: [still with hands tightly over ears] QUÉ?
  

Fawlty Towers DVD

• Fawlty Towers DVD Box Set at Amazon.com
• Fawlty Towers DVD box set at Amazon.co.uk

• Fawlty Towers Quotes
• Best of Fawlty Towers Video Clips
• The Germans Episode