The Power Button

• Customer: "My computer won't work. You guys must have broken it when you installed the modem."
• Tech Support: "What happens when you turn it on?"
• Customer: "It won't turn on anymore!!!!!"
• Tech Support: "So you don't see any lights or hear any noise?"
• Customer: "I'm telling you it WON'T TURN ON."
• Tech Support: "Is it plugged in?
• Customer: "OF COURSE it's plugged in, you MORON!"
• Tech Support: "When you push the power button it--"
• Customer: "Power button? This computer doesn't have a power button."
• Tech Support: "Sir, all computers have power buttons. Look at the front of the case, find the word 'power,' and push the button."
• Customer: "YOU FIXED IT!! Thanks!!!!"

If I Turn the Computer off will it switch off?

• * Tech Support: "How may I help you?"
• * Customer: "I was workin' on this here computer an' it dun sum'er'other, now it doesn't work."
• * Tech Support: "Okay so what's happening now?"
• * Customer: "Nothin' it's just sittin' all black!"
• * Tech Support: "All right, go ahead and press the power button and hold it down for about ten seconds."
• * Customer: "Sure. ... Now what?"
• * Tech Support: "Let go of the power button and press it again like you're turning it on."
• * Customer: "Holy CRAP! It's workin' now!"
• * Customer: "Ok, I've turned the computer off, then on again. It still says, 'Safe to power off, or press any key to reboot'?"
• * Tech Support: "No, not the monitor switch, the CPU switch."
• * Customer: "If I unplug my computer, will it shut off?"

My Computer doesn't Work

* Customer: "I bought this computer from you two hours ago, and it doesn't work! I want my money back!"
* Store Clerk: "Let me see..."

So I plugged the computer in and turned it on. I showed him that it was working, then I turned it off.

* Store Clerk: "Sir, this computer does work. I'm afraid we can't take it back."
* Customer: "How in the world did you turn it on?"
* Store Clerk: "I pressed the power switch."
* Customer: "You must have pressed something else, because I know for a fact that the power switch doesn't work!"

He reached over and pressed the reset button repeatedly.

* Customer: "You see?"
* Store Clerk: "Sir, that's the reset button. This is the power switch."
* Customer: "That's a switch? I thought it was a decoration!"

I Know a Bit about Computers

* "I have a PS/2 9556, and it's been running slowly the last couple of days. I know a bit about computers, and I was wondering -- if the battery inside it starts to run down -- could that be causing this?"

Windows Power

* Customer: "My palmtop won't turn on."
* Tech Support: "Did the battery run out, maybe?"
* Customer: "No, it doesn't use batteries. It's Windows powered."

These stories are from Common Computer Stupidities