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Quotes of Douglas Adams

     FORD: Six pints of bitter. And quickly please, the world's about to end.
    BARMAN: Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it.

-- Fit the First.

"`You know,' said Arthur, `it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.'
`Why, what did she tell you?'
`I don't know, I didn't listen.'"

-- Arthur coping with certain death as best as he could

   "`The first ten million years were the worst,' said Marvin, `and the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.'"

-- Marvin reflecting back on his 576,000,003,579 year career as Milliways' car park attendent. .

    "`If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'"

-- Zaphod.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. 

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife.
Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. 

Douglas Adams

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. 

Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. 

Douglas Adams

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. 

Douglas Adams

In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. 

Douglas Adams

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

Douglas Adams

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear. 

Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. 

Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. 

Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. 

Douglas Adams

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. 

Douglas Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See"

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. 

Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of. 

Douglas Adams, Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. 

Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.    

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.  

Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt, p. 205


A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.  

Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), Mostly Harmless



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