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Advantages of Being a Man

Some rather dubious advantages of being a man.

 

I found an article on the internet about advantage of being a man. I have added some some of my own with comments in brackets.

 

  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
    (Actually I know nothing about tanks - but I could talk about gear ratios for bikes e.t.c. for long enough to make you suitably bored)

  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

    (Never been to a dry cleaner and I cut my own hair.
    I had to laugh when a female student of mine told me that she spent 6 hours in the hairdresser getting a hair cut! and it cost nearly £100 Just think in 6 hours you could have cycled 120 miles and bought a carbon seat post)

  • You can kill your own food.

    (True but being a vegetarian this doesn’t count for much in my case)
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    (Just remembering Mother's day and birthdays is usually accompanied with a slight sense of astonishment and gratitude)
  • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
  • If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Can anyone tell me why women like to buy so many shoes??


  • You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

    (but you do if your mother is coming)
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without thinking:    "He must be mad at me."
  • Same work...more pay.

(I don't think my sister will like this one - Incidentally my sister Lynne Pettinger has written a very interesting book about the Sociology called "A New Sociology of Work ?" - a new look. Highly recommended.

  • Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
  • Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
    (personally I wouldn't spend the $75)
  • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
  • Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. "So, notice anything different?"
     
  • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    (never used an iron in my life – not going to start now)
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    (that’s if you’ve even got any hair to worry about)
  • You don't have to shave below your neck.

    (Actually not true if you are a racing cyclist – So many ways I have tried shaving my legs – at least I don’t have to do it in winter.

    By the way the best way to shave your legs is an epilator
    – waxing is too difficult to do to yourself.
    -  Using a razor is too likely to cause cuts and you have to do it every couple of days.

  • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  • You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

    (teeth are also quite effective)

  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    (I have only 10 relatives and find I can do it in 25 minutes)

 

  •  You don't get lost driving around central London

Other Jokes

 

- Funny Exam Answers

 

 

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