Monthly Archives: February 2008

Statistical Poetry

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  • Post category:quotes

There was me thinking checking your stats was a bad habit, waste of time and inefficient use ofresources. But, actually, it is a way to write poetry! see: Keyword Haiku So here is the beginning of my poetic adventure. (I once wrote a poem, but, it was something about a computer being good because it was er.. not made out of wood) so as you can see my keyword statistics are far better at generating poetry than me.

from: tejvan.co.uk/

never give up poems
shambhu sri
never give up poem
tejvan’s blog
poems never give up
sri chinmoy biography
poems never give up
poem never give up

ministry of silly walks
jeeves and wooster theme music

how does the yogi mahasamadhi
poems about giving up
poems about never giving up

ode to joy Bernstein
pictures of the spirit leaving the body at death
2007 national hill climb

who invented crosswords co uk
give up poetry

hill climb training
winter in oxford

kyudo blogs
how to achieve mahasamadhi
picture of a lighthouse

BTW the order of these keyword searches remains exactly the same as it appeared in stats, but some search results were omitted)

Statistics from Richardpettinger.com

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Ave Maria

I have heard many versions of Ave Maria, but, I really like this one. The singing is soulful and humble. Sometimes singers give real virtuoso performances, but, this version sticks to the spiritual essence of the song.
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Jokes in Honour of Tommy Cooper

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  • Post category:humour

IF TOMMY COOPER WERE ALIVE TODAY……

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal.”

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Ten pin?” I said, “No, permanent.”

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said “Can I borrow Batman Forever?” He said, “No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow”

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said “Analogue.” I said “No, just a watch.”

I went into a shop and I said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” I said, “Where is he then?”

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He’s bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him “I’m frightened of lapels.” He said, “You’ve got cholera.”

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P something T something R.

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